An Ode to Singles
It is often embedded to us either by society or the media that everything is better once we fall in love. This as cliche as it might sound makes a whole lot of sense, but what happens when we can’t seem to find that special someone that we see in the movies or really hope to meet some day? Are we running out of time? Does nobody want us?
If you happen to be asking yourself these questions, you are not alone. When I was younger I used to ponder that quite often. I like the idea of love, or the things it brings about, but I had the wrong idea.
Why is it that at often times people worry so much about relationships or put such a heavy burden on that word? Why do all of the sudden people stop what they are doing and day dream looking like idiots (myself included) when they dream or imagine a life with a significant other?
Well, although I am no expert, the only thing I have is my experience, and my subjective interpretation of love. Throughout the years I’ve come to understand love in a different way. At often times we wonder why is that nobody likes us, and if somebody likes us that we don’t like, what have we done wrong?
My answer to this is simple, we are simply focusing on the wrong things.
We think of a relationship as a success story. As if we have won a huge prize (and at times we might, others not so much), and we often tend to think of single people as people who are missing something in their life. Like it is a disease or something of the sort. We never look at single people and say to ourselves “DAMN I wanna be single!” but why?
As it is no surprise we humans are social animals, our brain actually craves interaction. That’s why we upload all sorts of shit on social media, that is the reason we post weird looking selfies and the reason why we text that one person that never texts back in hope of that *ding* sound. Besides having the need to socialize with other people, we also try to satisfy our appetites (yes, sex), but in doing so we romanticize this view of falling in love and making love. Which is cool and shit but once we start knowing more about another person the majority of people tend to have an abrupt fall from cloud nine and that which seemed ethereal, looks more like the gates of hell.
So why am I writing this? To talk about the people who are single, the reader who might be reading this and is thinking to his/her self that not having a relationship is a bad thing, or that by not being in a relationship they are missing out on butterflies, sex and other stuff. THIS IS NOT TRUE
The notion of obsessing over these things to me now seems ludicrous. We place such a high importance in being with someone else that we forget about being with ourselves. You might be able to love someone else if you don’t love your self but why wouldn’t I love myself first?
By writing these I am not encouraging you to live off in a cage in complete austerity and no sex, that would be boring as hell. Or to only think of yourself like Kanye thinks about Kanye…. NO. My point here is to think of yourself a bit more. You are cool person, you don’t need to fit in. There are many cool things about you that you probably didn’t know.
When we are single, we got more free time in our hands, therefore we have more time to work on the things that make us happy. Think of reading, video editing, spending time with friends, family, your dog, cat, walk into the city, you name the list. I am a firm believer in doing what you love.
I know sometimes this might not be the case because of a person’s income or economic situation, but let me say this one thing. Being single also saves you money, you don’t have to be thinking about dates, no need to be thinking about gifts, and Valentines? Who needs that? Save your money and grow your credit, then you will get some followers….
We focus so much on trivial pursuits, that we forget to look at the bigger picture. At the end of the day if someone is to be with you they will love you no matter what, no matter your color, race, genre, or defects. A person who truly loves you will make the time to see you and be with you, but until then don’t sweat it.
You are a badass and focus on you!